The 3rd Annual 2019 BET Awards Recap

The 3rd Annual 2019 BET Awards Recap

Welp. It’s that time of the year— my 3rd annual BET Awards recap. I wrote most of this as I watched the show in real time, so I apologize in advance for my randomness. 

On to the reason why you are all here. 

The BET Awards… Another year of me being even further away from popular culture than I was last year. And my son isn’t home… so I don’t even have anybody to call and ask “Who is this??” every 12 seconds. I’ma do the best I can with this one, because I don’t know most of their names and I certainly can’t understand most of their music. 

So. Here we go. 

Loved Cardi and her opening performance… even the cameo she had with her lil husband or whatever. Say what you want about Cardi, but I really, really like her. I love her frankness. I love her personality. I love watching her win. 

I dig Regina Hall. I really hope she does this justice. Although I think it’s hella hard to mess up the BET Awards. 

Whoa. This nod to DC?? Waymint. LOVING IT!!! Buckets and congos. They don’t know shit about that! Sardines and pork and beans! I got up and got my whole life. I think I may have sweated out my twist out and pulled a muscle in my thigh but I did da butt like my life depended on it. Waymint. They brought out Jas Funk AND Sugabear? Yo. I just danced so hard I think I pulled something. If y’all ain’t know nothing about DC go-go, you still don’t… but at least you knew a lil more than you did before this show began. 

“A bunch of dudes named Baby” sent me. 

Speaking of babies… I do not enjoy Lil Baby’s blouse. At all. He could’ve left the COGIC convention realness at home. 

Wait. Da Baby and Lil Baby are two different people? Omg. 

Da Baby is giving me Mr. Incredible build with that red shirt on and all them muscles but he needs to go on somewhere with them creepy ass adult sized babies dancing around the stage. I do like this lil song tho. It’s a bop. 

But listen. How old is Da Baby? Because hey cutie…. 

Shout-out to Marsai for winning the Young Stars Award! I love her facial expressions. 

Okay with the Fofty cameo! Pay 50 his money, yo. Tiera Marie ain’t been right since. 

I love Tasia Mae, dammit. I’ve loved her since she kicked her shoes off while singing Chain of Fools on American Idol. She is, hands down, one of the best flat-footed sing her ass off singers of our time. Debate ya mama. And I really like the song. And Tasia’s waist is snatched. Whatever you’re doing, Tay, keep doing it. 

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP/Shutterstock

Album of the Year. Okay. This one should be good. And I’m not surprised… Cardi won. I always look forward to her getting on the mic, because I am never sure what she will say. And she never disappoints. I’m not sure she actually had the album of the year, though… but… go Cardi or whatever. 

Regina Hall is way more ratchet than I realized and I love it. But that Marion Barry Songz joke fell SUPER flat. Yikes. 

I love Lizzo. I love her energy. I love her music. I love that she plays the flute. I love that she celebrates herself. Just love her. Get into her if you haven’t. She has a feel-good summertime album that you will enjoy. 

Y’all done brought Grandaddy Al out here to present this award, and not even his grandad head on his teenage grandson body is more surprising to me than the fact that Snoop Doggy Dogg just won an award for the best gospel song of the year. 

I can’t believe that this Lil Was X situation is really a legit thing. I thought it was a passing fad. And then Wrangler endorsed him. And now he’s on the BET Awards with Billy Ray Cyrus. Y’all. A black man performing country rap on the BET Awards wearing his chest out under a yellow leather jacket with tassels… and chaps. And the entire audience is singing along. Black people are spectacular. And the performance was slightly lit. 

I can’t get into the whole City Girls situation, but best of luck to her with her pregnancy. Speaking of babies… Which one is this? I hope it’s the same one who had the blouse on earlier. I so wish my son was home. But overall, I can kinda see how the mumble rap thing is a thing. Because they are bops. As long as you make zero attempt to understand what they’re saying, it’s not bad at all. 

I do love that the exonerated Central Park 5 are getting the recognition they deserve. I hope this attention to the faults and flaws in our justice system will prompt some change. Hey. I can hope, right? Here’s to hoping… 

I really, REALLY enjoyed this performance by H.E.R. She has such a range of talents. She plays the guitar. The cello. The spoken words. Real words, too. Her singing is dope. 

These folks are kinda talented this year. I like that the awards are exploring more depth. 

I’m a Migos fan. I love them as long as they ain’t solo. Takeoff is decent, but Cardi’s Husband and Quavo? Eh. As a group, tho? Love them every time. 

I will admit that I didn’t realize ‘Mustard’ was DJ Mustard and was kinda confused. I thought it was a thing, like how there are several babies. I thought these were the condiment rappers. I showed my age with this one, huh? 

Y’all old, too. Stop playing. 

Rihanna is everything. She’s breathtaking in whatever she wears. Out here making millions upon millions of dollars and ain’t dropped an album since my hair was relaxed. I see you, mogul! 

I am so glad Mary J. Blige is getting her due. She was a really important part of my childhood. I think Real Love came out when I was in the 4th grade. I remember waiting all day listening for it on the radio so I could record it over my mama’s choir rehearsal tapes and listen to it over and over again. 

Remember rewinding tapes and tryna get it to the exact spot your favorite song starts? Remember recording songs off the radio and being annoyed because the DJ talked all over the intro? Those were… the stone ages. I’m glad we’re better people now. Okay. On to this performance.

First, can we recognize that Mary performed her own tribute? I was kinda scared for her at first. I’m Going Down was… interesting. Mary don’t breathe through a song like she used to. The audience absolutely saved her through My Life by singing for her. And that ol’ stiff dance gets me going every single time. But I will not lie… I was on my feet. I loved the performance. Kim came out and I was in high school again, yelling her verse to the top of my lungs. And Method Man is still as fine now as he was when Wu Tang Clan wasn’t nothing to f— wit. I love watching my childhood legends age. Mary looked amazing. I am consistently rooting for her. 

Also, Kim’s waist was snatched, wasn’t it? Maybe that’s why she couldn’t breathe through that performance. That’s okay, though. I had her back. I rapped what she couldn’t. 

Ella Mai came on the stage looking like an oversized highlighter. I am consistently underwhelmed by her. And her dramatic walkoff… Girl. You ain’t been in the game long enough to pump off of anybody’s stage. What’s next?

I am always here for Taraji. Always. All the time. 

Tyler Perry. Say what you want about him, but his career has been stellar. MA-to the damn-D E A deserves this. He has truly built an empire. Y’all clowned him for wearing that dress, but look what he was able to build from it. And the fact that he builds his own so he can give others a change and employ the community… You do realize Tyler slept in his car for a period of time, right? And look at him now. An icon living. The Ultimate Icon award definitely suits him. 

Great tribute to John Singleton from Rickyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!! and Franklin, who is British, apparently. I had no idea. (Looking forward to Franklin n’nem coming back on in July. I love Snowfall. Get into it! It’s on FX.)

Kirk Franklin was Kirk Franklin, but did anybody see him trying to unbutton that tight ass shirt so he could play the piano? One of my FB friends said she thought he was trying to change his clothes. I told her I think he was just trying to free himself so he could breathe. The world will never know. Hallelujah or whatever tho.

Do Kirk Franklin’s clothes get tighter and tighter every year or is it just me? He went from wearing dresses to wearing bodysuits. I’m concerned. If he drops an album next year in a Speedo don’t say I didn’t warn you. 

I do not know what to say about Nipsey’s mom. I can’t imagine the grief she must’ve felt losing her son. But her remarks drained me a bit. The Woke people on FB said I just wasn’t listening. I’m okay with that assessment because it is probably true. Either way, RIP, Nipsey.

It is still so heartbreaking that Nip is really gone. 

I left to get snacks when Marsha Ambrosia got up to perform. I was not here for her yodeling tonight. Not tonight. I was feeling DJ Khaled and John Legend’s performance tho. This was a fitting tribute. I thought John was tryna take bammas to church for a minute at the end there. Snoop won a gospel award tonight. Anything’s possible. RIP, Nip. 

Regina Hall Washington DC’ed us to death, didn’t she? I was here for it. 

Ending the show with ol’ Johnny Gill and some cookout music! As long as we sat here watching these awards tonight, I need a hotdog. A sandwich. Something. Dinner was like 12 hours ago. 

Wait. Who told Johnny Gill it was okay for him to dance? Why are all these elders bussing moves they shouldn’t buss? 

Overall, the BET Awards seemed to really step their game up this year. The BET Awards used to be so embarrassingly low-budget and hood. We’d all cringe while watching, every year saying we wouldn’t watch next year, but watching next year hoping that they would get better. They never did. This year, the awards gave us some depth we haven’t seen in years past. The stage looked good and the performances were entertaining. There was lots of commentary on relevant topics, social advocacy, and celebrating culture. 

I do not miss the minstrel show of the BET Awards past. I’m so glad they finally listened to us complaining on social media and gave us a show that really highlighted the magic of black music. I didn’t get bored (until Nip’s mother told that long ass story) and only left for snacks once (because yodeling). I can go to bed feeling all black girl magic now. 

Thanks, BET. Until next year, y’all. 

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