Top Ten Tuesday: Top Ten Ways to Get Glad

Let’s be real– There’s no shortage of things to feel shitty about. 

It’s raining all the time. The President is an idiot. People are racist. Climate change is creating havoc. The government is a shitshow being broadcast on every single channel. Mass shootings keep happening. Police out here doing anything. Traffic is worse than ever. A lot of snow is coming this winter. Mumble rap is a thing. Stan Lee and Aretha are gone. He just keeps tweeting. And on. And on. And on.

Funny thing about feeling shitty tho– Shittiness multiplies. The more you focus on the things that make you sad, the more you’ll see sad things. And before you know it, you’re holed up in your house, musty and unshowered, blasting Keith Sweat and posting pathetic Facebook statuses about your misery. 

But. There are things you can do to shift your focus. The world around us may be completely crazy, and the people in it may be absolute nutjobs, but there are things that you can do to change the energy around you, especially when the stress of life makes you sad. And because I love you all so very much, I compiled a list of the ten things I do when the realities of life make me feel like cursing, crying, or cutting someone.  

I’m actually saving your life here. For free. (But $authoralisa tho because I do accept spendable gratitude.)

10- Blast trap music.
It’s almost impossible for me to feel sad when I am flipping bricks and trappin out the bando. Future makes me feel invincible. The Bawse Rick Ross does it for me, too. Project Pat. Three 6 Mafia. UGK. Fat Gucci. (I’m still indifferent on skinny, floral suit wearing Gucci.) Listen to music that makes you feel like a trap star. Shit that gets you hype. That “I’m a crook like you, I took like you, I disobeyed the law, threw out the book like you” music. I’m feeling happy just thinking about it. 
(Note: Rachet music deserves rachet volume. Just saying.)

9- Do something dope for someone else.
Simply put– The joy on someone’s face when you extend a kind gesture will immediately shift your mood. The thing is, everybody you encounter is dealing with something. They live in the same world that’s getting you down. Be the sunshine in someone else’s day. Extend a compliment. Buy a someone a cup of coffee. Volunteer somewhere. You’ll feel better knowing you made life just a little bit more pleasant for someone else. 

8- Watch the Wizards play.
Because they will make you feel like whatever you have going on isn’t nearly as bad as what they’re doing on the court. They are absolutely tragic. 

7- Eat fat shit.
There is nothing sadder when you’re already sad then salad and granola. It’s absolutely okay to drown your sorrows in fat ass food. Just the thought of Jiffy’s Subs on Marlboro Pike makes me happy. How can one be sad while one eats a steak and cheese sub? HOW?? Go to your favorite greasy spoon (my 2nd fave is Horace and Dickey’s) and indulge. You deserve. 
(A suitable substitute for all you ol‘ super healthy all the time folks is the Sunshine smoothie from Tropical Smoothies. Get extra pineapple. Trust me on this one.)

6- Pet a furry animal.
If you know me in real life or follow me on Instagram, you already know how I feel about Hendrix The Cat, which is weird because 1. I am NOT a cat person and 2. the only reason I even have a cat is because we had field mice and either we were gonna get rid of them or let them have the house. But this little free cat has become my whole boo these days. Pets love you so hard. That is their only purpose in life (besides looking for food, begging for food, and eating food). All they want is to love you. That love can be so comforting when you’re feeling shitty. If you don’t have an animal of your own, go to a shelter or visit a friend with a pet. They really do make so much difference.
(This doesn’t apply to furry people. Don’t have your old auntie looking for me because you thought petting her would make you feel better.)

5- Change your scenery.
I wanna tell you to travel first class to change the forecast, but the gag is, most of us can’t just jet on a plane and be out to someplace with no stress and sunny skies at the drop of a dime. I can’t because sometimes that dime is all I got, frfr. But what you CAN do is get out the house for a minute. Change some furniture around in your house. Paint. Go out and enjoy the gentrified city. Look at some trees. See some skrippas. Change your scenery. Sometimes a better mood is just a “get ya ass off the couch and go outside” away. 
(Don’t be a jerk. Tip the skrippas. They got bills, too.)

4- Watch reality TV.
I’m honestly not sure whether reality tv actually makes me feel better or if it just distracts me from how I’m feeling, but it’s one hell of an entertaining distraction. My current favorites are as follows: The ENTIRE Love & Hip Hop franchise. My 600 Pound Life. Anything that relates to hoarding. Real Housewives of Atlanta. 90 Day Fiance. The worse the show, the more distracting it is. If you’re REALLY feeling a way, watch Blank Ink Crew. I’ve never seen a dustier, more amusing group of people in one place in my life. 

3- Pray.
So I know this one seems a little out of place on this list… but it works. I take great comfort in knowing there is a God who loves me despite my ashiness. Honor your higher power, however it may look for you. God. The Universe. Allah. Buddha. They all have one thing in common: They all want you to be happy. Every religious book teaches some variation of “life sucks sometimes but I love you and I am here for you and it won’t always feel like this.” I experience peace when I pray. You might, too. 

2- Two words: Mary Jane.
Pretty sure this needs no other explanation. 

1- Shut everything down. 
This one is my favorite… because when I say everything, I mean it. No social media. No texting. No scrolling. No news in any form. No politics. No bad news. Shut it all down and spend time doing that the hell YOU want to do. Watch a movie. Read a book. See #2. Soak in the tub. Take a damn nap. Quiet your life and honor yourself. Most of us can’t afford to be selfish all the time, but none of us can afford to be selfless all the time. Sometimes, selfishness is survival. Say no to everybody, including your pastor, your mama, and especially your kids, and spend some time doing you. (Take that however you will.)

Create good energy in your life. Be around good people. Be a good person. I know it sometimes seems like everybody around you is losing their gotdamn minds, but you can’t let them drag you down to their levels of WTF. Life is too short to be miserable. Sad happens. These things just take the edge off a little. I hope this helps someone. 

Happy Tuesday or whateva.